How to use the Distract and Direct technique to keep control of your sexual climax—even when she’s in charge

Our goal is to learn how to last longer having sex. The three most common sex positions that involve the woman being in control of the action are, of course, her on top facing you (cowgirl), her on top facing away from you (reverse cowgirl) and doggy style. Doggy style might at first seem like a position in which the man is in control, but in reality, quite often the girl will start to move backwards and forwards, and well, you get the idea. She takes control and the guy stands or kneels as the action goes on. So, with these two positions in mind, how do you control your stimulation levels without stopping the action? Well, you don’t. You use the Distract and Direct technique. Here’s how. Let’s say your partner is on top of you, in cowgirl. She’d riding you and it’s all good. Then you start to feel yourself moving rapidly up the stimulation scale, past a 5 and towards a 7. To clarify, the stimulation scale is something you can use in your head to identify how stimulated you are and therefore how close you are to reaching your climax. 0 is not stimulated at all. 3 is somewhat stimulated but still in total control. 6 is where you really start to feel stimulated. If you carried on with this level of stimulation, you’d rise to the next number on the scale: 7. 7 is where you’re very sexually stimulated. When you go above a 7 on the stimulation scale, you get close to the point of no return which is a 9. Passing the point of no return means you’re definitely going to ejaculate, no matter what you do.

By the time you reach 7 on this scale, you want to know that you’re going to be able to adjust the action in a such a way that will allow you to slowly bring your stimulation level back down. Here’s how. She’s riding you and has been doing so for a minute or two. You reach 7 on the scale. You say to her, “That feels so good. Come here, I want to kiss you.” She’ll then bend down to kiss you, so instead of sitting up straight, she’s now on top of you, with her head near yours and her chest pretty much parallel to your torso. Start kissing her and slowly take over the action. Because she’s leaning forward so much, she’ll naturally stop or vastly slow down the amount of bouncing and grinding she’s doing. You can now place your hands on her rear and take over the thrusting AT YOUR OWN SPEED. This gives you the chance to get back to where you want to be on the stimulation scale. So, kissing her is the distraction and taking over the thrusting and movement is the direction. When you’re ready for her to start again, stop kissing her and bring your hands back to your sides. She’ll naturally sit up again and take over once more. There’s no agreement or discussion here—it just works by itself because of the change in body positions. Now let’s imagine you’re in doggy and she’s controlling the back and forth movement. You realise you’re around the 7 mark on the scale. You need to distract and direct. Distract by leaning forward a little, reaching around her waist and rubbing her clit. This will make her slow down her movement. Now slowly begin to take over the thrusting, until you’re going at a fair speed. At which point, lean back so you’re vertical again and carry on. When you’re ready for her to take over once more, stop thrusting and she’ll feel a natural urge take control again.

The Distract and Direct technique works so well because the girl always feels like she’s the one controlling the action, even when—for a minute or two—you take over. She doesn’t realise this happens because she gets distracted by kissing or rubbing or something. Before she knows it, she’s back controlling the action. This makes sex feel two-way, shared and therefore damn good, for you and for her.

Hope you find this information useful. Come back after a couple of days to learn more on how to last longer having sex.

How to breathe your way to a longer, more fulfilling sexual performance

When tackling the problem of premature ejaculation, it’s easy for a guy to only think about sex from a male point of view—because, after all, coming too soon is a male problem. But this is a mistake. When you think about it, there are certain key similarities (and differences) between the sexes that, when understood, can help you extend your sexual performance.

Both sexes have that feeling that sexual stimulation and sensation are building in their ‘private regions’. They both get that sudden feeling about five seconds before they come when they know it’s going to happen. Those a few of the similarities. But there’s also a key difference between the male and female orgasms which is worth taking note of. It concerns breathing or not breathing during the minute or so before the orgasm could technically take place. If a woman unconsciously holds her breath for the minute or so before she could potentially come, it will tend to delay her orgasm—in other words, make it harder for her to come. However, if a man holds his breath for the minute or so before he could come, it will tend to make him come faster. God knows why this is the case, but it is. So when you are having sex and want to delay when you come, you should always focus on doing the following:

• Breathe slowly and in a regular fashion. Don’t take random breaths only when you need them.

• Breathe deeply, focussing on your lower chest and belly. Expanding your belly as you breathe helps you take in more air, which relaxes you and keeps you calm.

• NEVER hold your breathe. Just don’t do it. It tenses you up and puts you on edge, making you much more likely to come too soon.

By breathing deeply and regularly in the way described above, you’ll be able to reduce anxiety and increase your ability to always be totally aware of the sensations you’re feeling in and around your penis. The natural result? No premature ejaculation and a longer, more pleasurable sexual experience for you and your partner.

How to train yourself to last longer in bed by using live action edging

Edging is a technique that can be used to increase your ability to last longer having sex and refrain from climaxing when you’re really stimulated and turned on. It goes like this. You imagine a scale of stimulation from 1 to 10. 1 means you aren’t stimulated at all. It’s how you are before you even start to have sex. 3 means you’re starting to become physically stimulated. In other words, you can definitely feel it, but it’s not enough to make you come too early. 6 is where you really start to feel stimulated. If you carried on with this level of stimulation, you’d rise to the next number on the scale: 7. 7 is where you’re very sexually stimulated. When you go above a 7 on the stimulation scale, you get close to the point of no return which is a 9. Passing the point of no return means you’re definitely going to ejaculate, no matter what you do. The edging technique involves masturbating until you get to a 7 on the scale, then backing off and slowing down until you’re back down to a 4 or 5, then speeding up until you’re about a 7 or 8 once more. Using this method, you can learn to control your stimulation levels and thereby extend how long you’re able to have sex without coming. Once you’ve used edging alone for a while, though, you should take it to the next level: edging with your partner. Here’s how to do that.

Begin sex with your partner. You should have already discussed that you’re going to try edging during this sexual encounter and she should be happy and enthusiastic about the idea. After foreplay, enter you partner in the position you know creates the smallest amount of sexual stimulation for you. Now slowly build your way up to 7 on the stimulation scale. Be careful—it’s easy to jump right past 7 and pass the point of no return when using the edging technique in ‘live’ conditions. Once you’re at or just beyond 7, and therefore fairly close to coming, slow down or withdraw from your partner, wait a moment, then build it back up once more. Keep going just as you do it when performing edging by yourself. After a while, you can switch to your next least intense sexual position and start the edging process once more. Of course, your partner doesn’t have to just lie there and let you beaver away throughout all of this. You can still kiss her, talk to her, tease her, etc. In other words, done right, this technique is awesome for your partner, even though it’s serving a productive purpose for you. Keep going through sexual positions, edging throughout each one. If you come after a while, don’t worry about it. You’ve made good progress. Next time, you’ll be able to go even further.

You won’t believe how effective this technique is when used in conjunction with deep breathing exercises. After just three or four sexual encounters, during which you’ve used this technique, you’ll notice that you can last longer having sex - two or even three times as long as you used to, before you used this method of edging.

How to use the blast technique to increase your sexual stamina and overcome premature ejaculation

Many men think that the only way to correct the problem of premature ejaculation is to try harder not to come while having sex with their partners. They’ll grit their teeth, think of their friend’s grandma, count backwards from 1000—they’ll do whatever they can to distract themselves from the fact that they’re close to climaxing. The truth is, sometimes the best way to extend your sexual performance is to learn techniques that are designed to be used when you aren’t having sex. The ‘Blast’ concept is one such technique.

You should try to perform this whole thing in the shower, because it can be a tad messy. Plus, any noise that’s created is masked by the sound of the falling water. It’s just nicer, to be honest—warm and convenient. It’s also a time that is scheduled in your daily life. So if you have a shower every morning, you can use this technique during it, at the same time every other day. This helps you to avoid forgetting to perform the technique.

Start by getting in the shower. Get lots of very warm eater cascading all over you. This will get your blood rushing through your system, which is good for the next step. Start to massage your penis. Use whatever technique you prefer for getting yourself up, but try to do it fairly quickly. Okay, you’re now going to blast it. Get a massive amount of lube in the palm of your right hand. Step forwards, so you’re not under the stream of the shower. Now grasp your penis using your dominant, lubed up hand and blast it. Jerk it hard and fast, focussing on the head of your penis. Really whack the hell out of it. It sounds ridiculous, but it works, so what the hell. Keep going crazy on it. Tighten and tense your legs to increase the stimulation and sensations even more. You want to get damn close to coming in as short a space of time as humanly possible. You should be able to do it in less than 60 seconds. But as it’s your first time, don’t worry too much about the clock. As soon as you feel yourself approaching the point of no return, around the 9 mark on a scale of 1-10 of sexual stimulation, instantly stop jerking it. Now, if you struggle to get this close to the edge in under a minute or two, you should try doing the technique out of the shower, while lying on your bed. This way, you’re able to really stretch out your legs, which we all know will help you approach ejaculation quickly.

The point of this exercise is the following. You literally go crazy on your penis in the shortest amount of time possible, until you’re just about to come. This technique ‘teaches’ your penis self-control in a highly effective way. It’s put through its paces in a really short space of time, just like when you have sex. You usually experience premature ejaculation. But during this technique, you have much more control. You simulate becoming completely aroused too quickly, then totally back off. You’re doing what you can’t really do when actually having sex—unless your partner is extremely understanding and not easily fazed.

How ‘Stimulation Awareness’ can help you to last longer in bed

So you'd like to know how to last longer having sex....

I’d like you to imagine you’re an athlete whose specialty is running the 1000 meter race. Your goal is to run or jog around the 1000 meter track in the shortest amount of time possible. Simple enough, you’d think. Just run as fast as you can. But that’s not how it works. If you were to sprint at your maximum speed as soon as the starting gun sounded, you’d soon be so drained that finishing off the rest of the 1000 m would be impossible. The real way to do the run is to pace yourself and be acutely aware of how tired you are and how strained your body is getting at each point in the race. By having this heightened awareness of what’s going on in your body, you are able to configure your speed to an extremely fine degree, optimising it as you go. Now, the subject of this article is not how to run well. It is, as the title suggests, how to last longer in bed. The reason I just described the running of a race is because the same principle applies to when you have sex. If you aren’t absolutely aware of the sensations in your body, you will find it impossible to configure your performance and make it last longer. Here’s how to develop this awareness.

• Set aside half an hour when you know you can relax, undisturbed.
• Arouse yourself until you are erect using whatever method works for you.
• Now start to masturbate at a medium speed. As soon as you start, pay attention to where on your penis you are feeling the sensations of pleasure.
• Begin to pick up speed and increase grip strength. Focus on how the sensations of pleasure change, both in their location and their intensity.
• Spend about five minutes varying the speed and technique you use. During this time, pay close attention to the feelings you’re experiencing. You should notice that, as you continue to masturbate, there will be a growing sense of pleasure in the head of your penis and down at the base, on the topside. Feel how this begins to increase and become more noticeable as you continue.
• Now get the point of almost climaxing and try to detect exactly how it feels. Notice every wave of pleasure, where it starts, how long it lasts…every little detail.
• Keep on the edge of coming for as long as it takes to experience all of the changes in sensation and stimulation you can. Then come and see how the feelings subside.

This kind of experiment builds your understanding and awareness of what the sensations in your penis are as you get aroused and how they change as you get closer to your climax. This is crucial knowledge when you want to know how to last longer having sex, because when you have sex, you will know what every little feeling in your penis means at any given time in regards to how close to coming you are. You’re then free to slow down, speed up, change positions, or do whatever is right to avoid climaxing too early and continue having sex with your partner.

How to extend your sexual performance by using sex positions like an expert

Welcome Back to How To Last Longer having Sex Blog! Today, we will talk about sexual positions.

You can’t have penetrative sex without using at least one sex position. And some people say you can’t have really good sex without using at least two or three sex positions. So what does this mean for a guy who suffers from premature ejaculation? On the face of it, it doesn’t seem to mean much. After all, what difference does a second or third sex position make when you come two minutes into the first one? However, the truth is that sex positions can be a premature ejaculator’s greatest tool when they’re used correctly. Here’s how.

Let’s name 5 sex positions.

• Missionary position (you on top, as she lies under you).
• Spoons (you both lying on your sides, with you behind her).
• Cowgirl (her on top, facing you).
• Reverse missionary (she lies totally flat on her belly, you kneel—with one knee on either side of her body—above her)

You need to perform these in the order shown above next time you have sex, or, if you can’t complete them all in one session, over the course of several sexual encounters. Now we need to set up a stimulation scale in your mind. Make 0 mean absolutely no sexual stimulation. Make 5 mean fairly sexually stimulated. Make 7 very sexually stimulated. 8 should be close to coming. 9 should be right on the edge, just before the point of no return and 10 should be climaxing.

You’re going to perform each position for as long as it takes you to reach a 7 or 8 on the stimulation scale. While performing each position you should ask yourself the following questions (either silently, or as a discussion with your partner).

1. How tight does this feel on my penis?
2. How intense is the stimulation on my penis?
3. How quickly is it building up the stimulation?
4. How long does it take for me to go from 0 to 8 on the stimulation scale while in this position?
5. How easy is it for me to bring myself back down the stimulation while in this position by altering my thrust speed, depth and angle?

By asking yourself the questions above, you’ll be able to determine exactly which sex positions afford you the most control of your stimulation levels and which afford you the least. Based on this information, you can then rank them from the most intense to the least intense and then—you guessed it—use them in this order during your subsequent sexual encounters. Don’t worry about it getting samey. You can still mix it up a bit. The important thing is that you now know which positions are a big no-no when you’re already on the edge of coming. That’s a very, very useful piece of knowledge to have when you have premature ejaculation. It will allow you to add up to 10 minutes onto your sexual performance.

How to change your mindset and improve your sexual stamina

One of the main reasons men suffer from premature ejaculation—which simply means reaching orgasm before they ideally want to when they have sex—is because they have a negative mindset. And it’s not surprising when you think about it. Our minds rule our bodies. If we are sad, we cry. If we are happy, we smile and walk confidently. And, yes, if we have the wrong mindset, we guys can climax too early during sex. Here’s how it works.

Let’s take an imaginary guy called James, who reaches orgasm too soon. He knows this and is very, very conscious of the fact that he wishes he could last longer and satisfy himself and his partners more. He’s been sexually active for a few years, it doesn’t really matter how long – the point is, he’s not happy with his performance. Fast forward to a sexual encounter. Even before foreplay has begun – as soon as the opportunity or chance to have sex has arisen – in the back of his mind is the nagging thought, “This time I’d like to last longer than I have in the past, but will I ejaculate too soon?”. Already, either consciously or subconsciously, his performance is tainted with negative emotion. It’s providing extra pressure he really doesn’t need. Before sex he was thinking about foreplay, during foreplay he’s thinking about how he’s going to satisfy the female, and all the while at the back of his mind overshadowing his thoughts is that question, “Am I going to ejaculate too soon?”. This technique focuses on bringing you into the present and avoiding the negative emotion that’s brought on by thinking about what has happened in the past, or what might happen the next time you have sex.

Totally aside from sex, you can witness how we operate on auto-pilot. Everyday, we’re taking ourselves out of the present and into the future when we really don’t need to. Walking down the street you’re thinking of work, at work you’re thinking about sex, during sex...well, we know what you’re thinking about during sex. The point is, to fully relax and focus and enjoy sex for long periods, you need to be in the present. Inadvertently thinking about what might happen – ejaculating too soon – takes your focus off what is actually happening: you’re moving up the stimulation scale. This in turn hampers your ability to identify how close you are to an orgasm, making its prevention impossible.

This technique has one simple goal: to increase your self-awareness and bring you back into the present during sex. It’s used during the plateau stage of sex, the hard part, where keeping control of yourself is the most important and difficult. What you need to do is, every now and then, ask yourself a couple of simple questions in your head. “Do I feel tense or relaxed?” and “How close am I to reaching orgasm?”. It’s really important you say the questions in your head and not just “think” them. Actually say each word. The first question uses a simple psychological principle to relax you and bring you into the situation at hand. If, after asking yourself if you feel tense, you notice your shoulders are tight, or that you’re tensing your stomach when it’s not necessary, you don’t need to think of what to do next. Your shoulders automatically drop and your tense mid-section relaxes. Asking yourself the second question, “How close am I to reaching orgasm?” is something you should be doing throughout sex – identifying where you are on the stimulation scale. This brings you into the present and focuses you, but actually saying the question in your head once in a while is doubly effective to prevent premature ejaculation!

Why can’t you last long enough in bed?

Welcome to How To Last Longer Having Sex Blog!

If you can’t last as long during sex as you’d like, then you aren’t alone. As much as 75% of the male population has trouble with premature ejaculation—so it’s by no means rare. What is rare, however, is seeing a guy solve his problem with rapid ejaculation using the right techniques and tactics. Perhaps this is because most men don’t know exactly what it takes to reverse their run of bad bedroom luck and turn their sex life around by increasing their sexual stamina.

The best place to start when solving your own case of ‘coming too quickly’ is identifying the real reasons you struggle to last long enough during sex. Read the following options.

1. You have a hard time controlling when you climax when you’re masturbating and when you have sex with your partner.

2. You only struggle to control when you ejaculate when you have sex. You have no problem doing it when you masturbate. When you have sex, you can’t last more than about 2 minutes before coming.

3. You have no problem with premature ejaculation when you masturbate, only when you get a girlfriend have sex. When you have sex, you can usually last longer than 2 minutes, but less than 8 minutes.

If option one sounds the closest to your situation, then your premature ejaculation is probably being caused by an underlying case of hypersensitivity and sensational unawareness. This means that your penis is extremely prone to become over-stimulated as soon as sex begins and that you have a hard time really noticing when you’re close to and about to pass the ‘point of no return’, which—once passed—means that you’re going to climax no matter what you do. If you chose option two, then you probably have less hypersensitivity and more sensation unawareness. This means that your penis does become very stimulated when you have sex—which can make it hard to refrain from coming early—but that your main problem is that you aren’t fully aware of the different stages of arousal you go through before you come. This means you need to train your body and your mind to recognize when you need to take action during sex to prevent yourself from coming too early. If you chose option 3, then your case of premature ejaculation isn’t too severe, but it is nevertheless something you probably want to get rid of. You’d like to double or even triple the amount of time you’re able to have sex for. To do this, you need to learn techniques that involve strengthening your PC muscle, heightening your arousal awareness and improving your sexual technique.

Whatever the cause of your personal problem with premature ejaculation is, it can almost always be improved or even fixed when you have the right attitude and the correct knowledge on how to last longer having sex.