Today, I'm going to talk about using different positions that you can use to last longer having sex. You cannot have sex without using at least one sexual position – that’s obvious, right? Most people, though, tend to use more than one. The average number of positions used per sex “session” is two. That may seem like a really low number, but considering 70% of men ejaculate before they or their are partner are satisfied, it’s not surprising so few positions are able to be used.
The key point that should be noted here, though, is not the number of positions the average couple use, but is instead a much broader principle: Sex, as a physical act, is fundamentally based around the use of different positions. Therefore, they are inherently linked to the performance of the male, each having a different effect on him and each bringing about a varied amount of satisfaction in the female. Understanding that simple principle allows you, as a man, to latch onto a much more powerful and useable concept: Your sexual performance, arousal containment and general ability to perform impressively in bed can be directly controlled, improved and boosted by the effective choice and use of sex positions. That’s the topic of this article – so let’s wade right in.
The first thing to always bear in mind when you have sex is how each sex position you use will affect your arousal control – that is, your ability to maintain an erection and continue sex without interruptions and without ejaculating too soon. Certain positions, because of the way your body is posed, put stress on your legs, arms or other parts of your body. This stress, caused by maintaining the position while having sex, makes controlling your arousal and holding back from ejaculation much more difficult. Contrary to popular belief, the missionary position does not offer you much control over your arousal – despite the fact you’re controlling the motion/action of intercourse. This is because, to properly maintain the missionary position, you have to support your body weight using a combination of your arms and legs. You’re essentially propping yourself up. After a couple of minutes of propping and thrusting, the stress on your body’s muscles has often increased just enough to tip you over the edge, which causes you to suddenly lose control of your arousal levels and ejaculate too soon.
However, this doesn’t mean you should remove the missionary position from your love-making repertoire. What you should do, is simply be aware of the stresses it can cause and the effects those stresses can have on your ability to control your arousal levels. With this knowledge, you can choose to use the missionary position as the first one in your sex session – while you’re most in control and least tired overall.
Let’s take this principle of bodily stress and its resulting negative effects on your performance control further. Positions such as ‘woman on top’ or ‘reverse woman on top’ (her facing away from you, while sitting on you) offer you better control than positions in which you squat down or prop yourself up on an elbow or hand – regardless of the fact that she’s controlling the action. Therefore, try using them nearer the end of your love-making session, when you’re the most physically fatigued and closest to ejaculating – these are the times when removing the stress caused by certain sex positions can prove crucial in allowing you to avoid premature ejaculation.
Finally, never underestimate the power of the ‘Spoons’ position. ‘Spoons’, if you don’t already know, involves you lying on your side with your legs slightly bent, with the female pressed against your front, her legs slightly parted, her hips tilted to one side, and her knees bent. This position offers you massive control over your arousal levels. First, because you’re lying down and not forced to maintain an awkward pose (which eliminates the bodily stress principle just described). Second, because you’re fully in control of the thrusting action, which means you can speed up or decrease the power, depth and frequency of the action. And, if those reasons weren’t enough, you’re in a great position to lean your head over her shoulder, slow down the rhythmic thrust of your hips (and therefore give yourself time to calm your arousal levels), and gently kiss and caress her neck and cheek.
Women love men who take control during sex through the use of different positions. They, however, don’t realise that sex positions give you, as a man, an alternative kind of control - in the form of reliable arousal containment and in the overall improvement of the length and quality of your sexual performance.
Always remember to use sex positions wisely!
Next week, I'll teach you a technique to last longer having sex that most men don't know about.